...

Okay, I admit that I am a little bit confused of the things that I really wanted to do this time. 

There are a lot of things that really bothers me. 

The office politics that is not favorable with us. I am worried on what is waiting for me after my current boss vacates his post. I don't know who will replace him.

My applications with other agencies don’t seem to have any positive update yet. But of course, I am still hopeful that some good things are waiting for me. I just hope that the news come out soon.

I love what I am doing right now and enjoy at the agency where I am currently employed but there are things that need some assurance and security.

I am not getting any younger anymore and I need some security of tenure. I want to transfer to a permanent office where I can stay until my retirement age come.

I know it is very difficult to move out of my comfort zone but I really need to think and prepare for the future of my family. I may have all I want in life and enjoyed the life that I want for myself. But I still have my kids that need to be prepared and be ready for them to have good future.

When resting makes me really tired

What? Do you believe that resting will also get you tired? What a stupid question right? Oh we'll I think I'm tired of taking a rest. I am actually on a sick leave to get enough rest and feel better. But staying at home without doing anything really gets me tired. My iPad seems to be not enough to ease my boredom.  I really wanted to do some household choirs but I restrain myself from doing so because it will only worsen the situation.

Getting sick really sucks. My body is not used to doing nothing at all. And besides getting sick is so expensive. Medicines costs a lot that my one day pay is not enough to buy them all.

Another thing is that, I'm so worried that my works is waiting for me at the office. It is already due and I am here doing nothing because I am sick. 

I really don't know what to do. I really wanted to finish my work but my health condition doesn't seem to cooperate.

One more thing is that I am still waiting for any updates in regards to my applications to other agencies. And it will not really help if my health is not in good conditions once they called me for an examination or in an interview.

Lord, please forgive me for all my shortcomings. And please do help me in all my endeavor. I know it is just part of the challenges that will make me a better person.