On being a stay-at-home-mom for while

I must admit that as a working mother, there were times that I dreamt of being a stay-at-home-mom so I can personally take good care of my kids. And because I am blessed to have and enjoy my two months maternity leave, that dream of being a stay-at-home mom is somehow granted even if it is just a temporary and in just a short period of time. But now, after staying at home for a month, I realized that being a stay-at-home-mom is indeed not easy.

While I love being with my kids, there were times that I feel so useless. My body and mind need some works to do not only those household choirs or just taking care of my kids but those office works I used to do every day. I already miss reporting to work as well as the people I used to work with. There were also times when I already felt so bored in life especially when both my daughters are sleeping. I am just so glad that I have my netbook with me as well as books to read that help me keep my sanity intact.

Maybe it is not yet the right time and I am not ready yet to be a full time mom. Or maybe this kind of feeling is just the post effect of giving birth. But the only thing that I am sure with myself right now is that I am happy with my kids and I am feeling so blessed to have them. Maybe the right time for me to be a stay-at-home-mom is yet to come when everything else is in place especially if those financial concerns are no longer a big problem to deal with.

Quick note!

Oh, how time flies so fast. It’s already hump day today. Thirty seven (37) days more to go before Christmas. But I feel so tired. I am stressed. I am already burnout. I need a break. I need a vacation to unwind.

I am exhausted but I can’t quit. I know that soon everything will go back to normal. And I also know that despite and inspite of all the challenges and hardship that I am going through right now, I am still very lucky.

I want to share with you a story about the person that never fails to cheer me up. One day, while I am watching television at home my daughter saw me or even feel that I’m tired and I’m a little bit sad. She came to me and said:

KA: Mama, happy ka?
Me: Tahimik lang.
KA: Love mo ako? Bati tayo?
Me: Opo syempre. Love kita at bati rin tayo.
KA: Sige, bigyan kita pera.
Me: Magkano?
KA: Fifty million.
Me: Ha? Ano gagawin natin sa pera?
KA: Bibili tayo sasakyan. Uwi tayo kay lola at kay lolo. Pasyal tayo. Saka kain tayo sa jollibee. Ngiti ka na Mama.

I was shocked. Sobrang daldal na ng anak ko. Pero sobrang nakakatuwa at nakakataba ng puso. With her, I know I am very lucky and I have enough reason to thank God.

On the other note, I already changed my name here. Wala lang, feel ko lang. I’m bored na kasi. Even with my current theme parang nagsasawa na rin ako, so naghahanap na rin ako ng new theme that will suit my taste and mood right now.

Oh sya, ‘til next time. I’ll visit your blog soon. HAPPY HUMP DAY EVERYONE!

Quick updates!

I’ve been to sick ville again. It all started last weekend. While my sister went home, I took charge of the household choir and the baby sitting.

I got so tired; my body does not seem to cooperate. I had sore throat, and suddenly got a fever on Sunday evening and I chilled. I decided to rest on Monday hoping that the fever will go past. But I chilled again on Monday evening. That made my hubby to panic because I haven’t experienced such thing before. He decided then that we better see a doctor on Tuesday morning just to make sure that swine flu doesn’t hit me. Good thing that the doctor said it was an ordinary flu and I just have to take enough rest. Take some vitamins and plenty of water.

But problem doesn’t ends there. Because as I started feeling better, my daughter started to get fever as well. Her body temperature reached 39.3 degree Celsius. The highest fever she ever had. That made us panicked again. We had to be awake for the whole night to look after her, gave her medicines and wiped her with lukewarm water.

Times like this make me feel sad and wish na sana sa akin nalang lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ng anak ko. Dobleng hirap kasi kapag sya ang maysakit.

I’m feeling much better now. I still have cough but no more fever. But my daughter still has a fever pero medyo konti nalang. Sana soon gumaling na rin sya.

For the meantime, please bear with me and allow me to fully recover first from this situation. I know I owe you a blog visit. I’ll catch up as soon as I can.

Happy weekend everyone!

Santino, is that you?

Nabanggit ko na ba sainyo na ako at si KA ay avid viewer ng “May Bukas Pa” teleserye? And that KA knows and will not go to sleep hangga’t hindi pa natatapos ang programa.

Last night KA gave me a good laughed. During commercial break, I decided to brush my teeth first para sabay na kaming matulog. Medyo napagod rin kasi ako kahapon. Hindi ko namalayan sumunod pala sya sa akin. At biglang tumigil sa may tapat ng dingding ng may makitang ipis. Kala ko matatakot, pero hindi pala. Ginaya nya si Santino (yong kapag nagdarasal sya). Sabay sabing, “Bro, may bukas pa”. Nagulat talaga ako at napahagikhik ng tawa. Tumingin sya sa akin at muling nagdasal. Sabi nya, “Bro, love ko mama ko”.

Grabe hindi ko talaga expected yon. Nakakagulat at nakakataba ng puso . My daughter is very smart and I really love her.

letter to K.A.

Dear K.A.,

Two years ago, you were born to saw for the first time the light of the world.

We could hardly believe that our little angel were finally right before our eyes after nine months of waiting. It was so amazing!

You made us the happiest person in this world.

You were so tiny and fragile then. We were even afraid to carry you then.

We couldn’t stop staring at you. You really look so adorable.

We were so amazed at how we have created you such a beautiful baby.

We guarded you zealously.

We could hardly sleep because we wanted to watch over your every move. We wanted to attend to all your needs as soon as possible.

Happiness overwhelmed us every time you opened your eyes and seemed to look at us. Even though we knew you couldn’t see us yet, we wanted you to know and feel that we are always around for you.

We didn’t want to leave you. We were scared to leave you home to your nanny during the times that we need to go to work.

We played with you and sang you songs. And we wished you could talk, walk and play with us.

As you grew older, handling you became more and more challenging for us. And yet we are learning lessons from you.

We wanted to mold you into a best daughter.

Days passed by. And you are growing so fast.

Now you are two years old already. Yet you still amaze us in so many ways.

You can now walk, run, talk and play with us. You even know how to dance, sing and imitate what we are doing or talking. You already know how to make sumbong, answers to our simple questions and count 1 to 10.

You are now more assertive. And seem to know what you want. Yet we know that you are still our pretty little baby.

We are so happy whenever you reach for us, kissed us a lot every time we arrived home and let us carry you as well.

We pray to God that you’ll grow up to be a God-fearing lady. We also pray that you be blessed with good health, sharp mind, loving heart, success and happiness all the days of your life.

And pray that God will grant us more years to come so we can be there for you.

We love you so much K.A. We are so proud of you!

Happy 2nd Birthday to you!

Love and care,
Mama & Papa

shocking moments

kapag walang pasok sa trabaho ako ay madalas na nasa bahay lang.
nagpapakadakilang asawa at ina sa aking anak.

nakagawian ko, na kapag kami ng aking anak ay nag-uusap, pinapagawa ko sa kanya lahat ng mga aksyon na alam na nyang gawin tulad ng align, apir, shakehand, pagmano, kiss, flying kiss at kung anu-ano pa. pinapabigkas ko rin sa kanya ang mga salitang alam na nya bigkasin.

isang araw ganito ang naging usapan naming mag-ina:

ME: anak sabihin mo nga mama
K.A.: mama
ME: papa
K.A.: papa
ME: lolo
K.A.: lolo
ME: lola
K.A.: lola
ME: darna
K.A.: darna
ME: happy
K.A.: happy
ME: ate
K.A.: sobra na!
ME: ngggggeeeeekkkkk!

hehehe. marunong na magreklamo ang anak ko

****************
ito pa. isang hapon, si K.A. takbo ng takbo paikot-ikot sa loob ng bahay.
biglang............ BLAAAG!
nadapa si baby at nagsabing:" Ay, Diyos ko!"

me: ha! anak ikaw ba yan?

*****************
pagkalipas ng ilang minuto:

ME: anak sige nga ulitin mo ulit yon. ay, Diyos ko!
K.A.: hehe
ME: ay, Diyos ko!
K.A.: hehe
ME: ay, Diyos ko!
K.A.: aso....
ME: ngeeeekkkkk!

hehehe. sadyang napakasaya at napakasarap sa pakiramdam ang maging isang magulang. minsan habang tinuturuan ko si baby hindi ko namamalayan na ako din pala ay may natututunan sa kanya. minsan kapag nalulungkot ako parang may magic na kusa nalang gagawa ng eksena si baby para mapatawa nya ako.

ang galing noh! i am so proud of her.

on babysitter issues...

{photo via}

I am having a hard time in making the decision whether I have to fire out K.A.'s babysitter or let her stay with us for some more time. Aside from the fact that finding a new babysitter is not easy, I also pitied her because I know that she really needs to earn money for herself and for her family as well.

Hubby told me several times to ask my family in the province to ask my aunt (K.A.’s first nanny) to go back with us or just look for a new babysitter.

K.A’s current babysitter is been with us for more than three months now. She is indeed a very nice young lady and my baby K.A. already loves her.

Having my own rules & standard on how should be my baby will be taken care of; I briefed her and told her to follow my own rules.

Experience wise I know that she knows how to take care of a baby because she took care of her younger siblings and even nephew. Yet my hubby told me that she was raised in the way that cleanliness around the house was not properly observed.

For a while I just observed her on how things were being done.

Here are some of my few findings:

*Proper hygiene for my baby was not properly maintained as well as the cleanliness inside our house. Many times my baby got rushes because she was not properly taken cared of.

*She did not wash K.A’s clothes properly. Several times I find some traces of dirt on the wash clothes. And I suspected that maybe some of K.A.’s rushes were caused by that dirt and maybe some of the detergents left on it.

*She did not even clean the feeding bottle properly. I just observed one time that there are bubbles in my baby’s drinking water.

I conditioned myself to be patient enough.

I still patiently trained her and told her to observed cleanliness for my baby and inside the house.

I told hubby that we should clean the house before we go to the office and when we go home at night and just have a general cleaning during the weekend.

I just decided then that it is better if I do the laundry by myself every morning. And do the other laundry on the weekends.

I also took over the cleaning and sterilizing the feeding bottles.

For awhile, things seem to be ok. So I told hubby that finding new babysitter will be set aside and just give her chance to be with us until such time that she voluntarily say that she will go home to the province or find some other job. Anyway, she is indeed very nice to us. She is just a quiet type of person. She never reasons out or answers me back.

But last week, I observed that laziness strike her again. Proper hygiene for K.A. was again neglected. K.A. even felt so itchy that she scratched and scratched her body and head then sometimes cried and tried to pull her hair.

Then, just last weekend I caught her watching TV intensely while K.A. was busy playing and pulling cords and other stuff under the computer table near the electric socket.

I got angry as I seen that situation. And I told her to prioritize my baby among other things. But I still managed myself not to say that I am paying her to take care of my baby and not for her to just relax and see movies on television.

Now, the idea of finding new babysitter again comes into my mind. Yet I am still having a second thought. While I wanted my baby to be in good hand yet my willingness to help less fortunate people is also in my consideration.

I really don’t know what to do. Should I fire her now or give her one more chance? Please help.

on vaccination.....

{ photo credit}

Where do you go to have your baby vaccinated? Do you go to the private clinic and let the pediatrician do it for your baby or you just go and fall in line in the barangay health center?

For me, money wise I think it is more reasonable to have it only in the health center. But based on my observations health center where flooded with lots of patients that resulted to have shortage in the vaccines. Some health workers also have favoritism on who they want to be vaccinated first that is usually in favors to their relatives.

So for my baby’s vaccination needs I preferred it to be done by the pediatrician in their private clinic. As a first time mom, I mostly relied on the pediatrician’s advice. I am more comfortable to have my baby vaccinated by a professional or by the person who have a special knowledge about it. I also save my time from falling in line waiting to be served.

I am not after the money but I am after the safety of my unica hija. I know prevention is better than cure.

I am so lucky that the pediatrician I got for K.A. never gets tired explaining to me about every vaccine she needs to inject to K.A. nor never get tired answering all my questions concerning the health of my baby. She even offered to me free consultations over the phone or text messages most especially in times of emergency.

She also told me before hand, “ang bakuna pinag-iipunan”. With a lot of vaccines that my baby should undergo, I really need to keep myself prepared financially.

I also did some research about every vaccine that she injected and needs to be injected to my baby.

To name some of the vaccines, we have the Hepatitis vaccine, the Bacillus Calmette-Guerin (BCG) vaccine against tuberculosis, the PENTA vaccine that is used to prevent five diseases which are the diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis (whooping cough), Haemophilus Influenza type b (DPT-Hib) and Poliomyelitis (polio), the measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccines and the Invasive Pneumococcal Disease (IPD) vaccine.

But the IPD vaccine in particular caught my attention. Not only because it is very expensive but also because I never heard it before so I really don’t have any idea what does it mean. I talked to some of my neighbors who are also a mother themselves about it but they tend to asked me back same question.

K.A. was scheduled to have it this coming October. So I really need to know about it before her schedule come. As my own policy, ignorance is not a valid reason or excuse for any mistake that I may have.

Google as usual rescued me. I found this article from sun star cebu. It was stated there that the Invasive Pneumococcal Disease (IPD) is a deadly disease caused by a common bacterium Streptococcus pneumoniae, which can attack different parts of the body. To read the whole article, just click this link.

I am learning a lot of things from my own experience. But I know I still have to learn more about parenting.

Wika nga, marami pa akong kakaining bigas!